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A healthy relationship is based on trust and respect. In a good relationship, you have fun together, you feel like you can be yourself, you can have different opinions and interests, you listen to each other, you trust each other, you can both compromise, say you're sorry and talk arguments out, and you can spend time on your own. Sometimes abusive relationships can start just like healthy ones - full of love, excitement and romance. Abusive relationships have good times and bad times. It can be very confusing and painful when there is love mixed with abuse.
Some signs of an abusive relationship are extreme jealousy, not wanting you to be with friends, threats, name-calling, possessiveness and shouting. It can escalate to hurting someone physically and forced sex. You may feel nervous and scared, like you’re not good enough. You may be confused and do things you don’t want to do. Someone who abuses you may also make you feel like you are to blame for his or her behavior.
Remember, if you are in a relationship and someone loves you, you must be treated with respect and feel valued and free to be yourself. You shouldn’t be made to feel intimidated or controlled. Someone who loves you should help you feel good about yourself. No one has the right to abuse you and make you feel bad or confused. Your feelings and safety are important. Get help if your love hurts.
If something about your relationship scares you, or you are worried about a friend and you need to talk, call:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY for the Deaf)
or visit www.ndvh.org
Help is available in English, Spanish and many other languages. All contact with the hotline is free and confidential. |
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